I Overthink in Two Languages: English and Yoruba
must be nice
My brain runs on two frequencies.
In English, my overthinking sounds like a podcast. More like Jola and FK voice, calm, overly explanatory, peppered with “what ifs” and “maybe I should.”
In Yoruba, it’s more like my energetic auntie at a party, direct, emotional, and utterly unwilling to sugarcoat.
Between the two, I'm so stuck! no escape.
When I mess up, English says, “This could be a learning opportunity.”
Yoruba says, “Ṣe o ya werey ni?” (“Are you mad?”).
When I’m afraid to take a step forward, English reminds me to “trust the process,”
Yoruba says, “ti o ba se, wahala ile aye ni yen” (“If you don’t take the action, that is your fuck!!ng business”).
It’s exhausting, but maybe it's also a gift.
Because thinking in two languages means I get twice the perspectives, twice the inner debates… and twice the accountability.
I shouldn't ignore the fact that I may start overthinking in Espanol soon as I have kept my streak going for the past 20 days now!!!
And here’s the truth I’ve had to swallow: no one is coming to save me.
Not in English. Not in Yoruba.
Not in some future where I’ve magically figured how to speak Spanish
The rescue I’m waiting for is me, the version of me who stops over analysing long enough to act.
Until then, I’ll keep translating my fears and dreams back and forth, hoping one of them sounds urgent enough to push me forward.